Know-It-Alls Tried Schooling These People And Epically Failed

It can be so frustrating when someone talks to you as if you’re a little kid. However, it’s even more infuriating when they talk to you like you’re a child about a topic that you know a whole lot more about than they do. For the most part, it’s best to be gracious and simply humor someone – even if they made an assumption that you’re dumb. When they combine this fact with being an unpleasant person overall, it can be difficult to keep from teaching them a lesson. Here we have some experts in a variety of fields who’ve recently taken to the internet to share stories about times know-it-alls decided to lecture them. They all ended up getting a little lesson of their own instead.

55. Do You Know What India Even Is

It seems like ‘mansplaining’ has no limits to it. This woman experienced this first-hand. A man decided to explain to her that she’d never been to India despite the fact that she spent 6 months there. These two had an unfortunate meeting in a bar. “we found a mutual love of travel, so I mentioned I loved my time in India and he told me NO woman could possibly enjoy traveling there, therefore I’ve never been.” We can’t even begin to understand the logic behind this thought. She continued, “any attempt to convince him (relaying my past itineraries for example) was just me “trying to impress him”.” The story doesn’t end there. Later on, his friends apologized to her. Yet he still felt the need to go on. “He started trying to quiz me on the geography of the country but his knowledge was actually super basic so I easily answered every question and he got mad about that and still insisted he knew more than me about my own travel history.”

54. Thanks For The Insight

This person went through a similar, rather awkward experience. “As a grad student, I taught an undergrad class on Shakespeare. On syllabus day, we were going over the books we’d be reading at the end of the semester. I made some Iago parrot joke and a freshman decided to explain to me that in Othello, there is actually a character named Iago.” We can practically feel the professor’s internal eye roll from here. “He explained that the character is the main protagonist and not a parrot. He then went on to explain how Disney uses Shakespeare in their films, but that doesn’t mean that these are the same stories and so I should remember reading the book always comes above watching the movie.” After all that, the professor’s brilliant joke went right over the student’s head.

53. Bad Chemistry

Even having a degree in a field doesn’t guarantee that people will trust your knowledge on the subject. This person has a degree in biochemistry and also invented as well as published a new method for measuring lifespan in the cells they work with. Well, as they were setting up to run a tutorial session on how to do it, one student began “correcting” them. He tried to “explain how to use the method. Which I invented. And was literally there to teach him.”

52. Uncivil War

No matter where you are or who you’re with, there will always be that one person trying to talk down to you about a topic you’re an expert in. This person went through that. A friend of a friend explained “the causes and effects of the American Civil War to me at a backyard party. I kept trying to take part in the conversation and he kept interrupting me.” After a while of this, a mutual friend of theirs overheard the monologue and walked over. He leaned in and said, “You know she got her grad degree in this, right?” Even after this revelation, the conversation remained the same. “Somehow it intensified his need to explain very basic things I could literally teach a class on to me.”

51. Not The Tea Lady

No one’s safe from those who are sure they’re the smartest ones alive. This person worked at an air traffic control tower. They would have new pilots visit and see the airport to see how things are on the other end. “I was on a break when a particular pilot was visiting and was the only female air traffic controller in that workplace. The visiting pilot finishes his cup of coffee, hands me a mug, and says “wash that would you love”.” By the time the pilot returned to his plane, this person’s break was over. Unfortunately, the pilot found himself in the back of a line departure line. “I wanted him to have some time listening to the frequency and absorbing the fact that if a woman is in a professional environment she’s probably not the freaking tea lady.”

50. Wild Side

All jobs come with their own set of challenges. Even wildlife rehabilitators can’t catch a break from those men trying to explain their own job to them. This rehabilitator had quite enough when she posted this: “I am a wildlife rehabilitator but it doesn’t stop men from explaining things to me like “ACTUALLY, it’s ‘O’ possum, not possum”. Yes, yes I know that because I just crammed the intestines back into one and sewed him up. I think that affords me the right to use a colloquialism, no? I’ve had people argue with me that deer are a lot like dogs in how they use logic.” As a matter of fact, these things tend to happen to her at least once a day. “Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think that any time a guy tries to explain something it is mansplaining, but men do tend to do it more than women.”

49. Watch Me Lift

Being a female personal trainer can be difficult at times. “I was in session as a personal trainer working with a woman who was training to compete in high-level weightlifting competitions.” This trainer clearly was in the middle of training a client when a guy decided to interrupt their session. He walked up to the two while smiling. “He then, without any prior discussion wants to know if “we ladies” wanted him to show us how to lift weights. Before we can respond, he starts in on how to do certain exercises and bragging about how much he can lift.” As if that wasn’t bad enough, he went on: “to top it off, he tells me he is a personal trainer and, if we want, he’ll give us free PT sessions. Being one of the three PTs at the gym at the time, I was surprised he wanted to claim to be a personal trainer. I was even wearing a shirt that said “Personal Trainer”.”

48. Mansplaining Driving

This person took her car in to get the winter tires off. She decided to get it done at one of those drive-thru places to get it done quickly. Well, a guy working there came out to tell her he would drive her car in. “Then slowly, like I’m an idiot, mansplains that I would have to drive my car just so to get it over the hydraulics and that there are big holes in the floor for getting under cars that aren’t raised up. The gist of his mansplaination being, that it would be hard for a little woman like me to drive my car into the shop.” They finished up with the person before her. Ten minutes pass and they still haven’t brought her car inside. “I look out the waiting room window and see all six guys that are working there crowded around my car outside. Now, I started to get really nervous thinking something is wrong with my car.” She figured they’d tell her if something was wrong, so she patiently waited – for another 15 minutes. When a new person pulls up behind her car, the guy from before walks up to her. He then politely asks her if she could drive her car onto the hydraulics for them. All 6 men working there didn’t know how to drive a stick. “So, after mansplaining to me that it would be hard for me to drive my car into the shop, they waited almost half an hour to tell me that not one guy in the shop could even drive my car.”

47. The Real Star

This person had a t-shirt with the constellations on it. While it wasn’t an accurate sky map, it was nice all the same. They wore it to the store they worked in one say and a man behind them had something to say: “he started telling me that the stars were inaccurate and did not form a map of the sky.” That’s when they turned back to the man and explained that the front was summer stars while the back was winter stars. Clearly, they would not form one continuous map. “He stopped talking after that.”

46. Oh, Didn’t You Know I Worked Here?

“This guy I knew from high school thought I was hitting on him in front of my work. I wasn’t dressed for work and the doors weren’t open yet as the general manager wasn’t there.” All she did was make conversation and ask him if he’d ever been in the area before when he said: “Ugh, advice for you. Lose some weight, learn how to dress, and have a bank account that would make me strip in front of my own grandmother on command, and maybe then I would consider”. After she said excuse me, he said “you heard me” while turning his nose up at her. The manager opened the doors so she went to the bathroom to change. She stepped out, greeted her crew, and then sat down to interview the same kid. Clearly, it went badly. “He thought it was a joke and that I was bad at rejection.” However, she pulled her manager to the side and explained the entire thing to him. Needless to say, the kid didn’t get the job.

45. Rock Specialist

This man worked with a scaffolding company just after finishing his degree. He had been looking for a job in mining engineering at the time but needed something for the time being. When he came across some pyrite, one of the guys he worked with was convinced it was gold. However, when it was explained to him that it wasn’t, the guy replied, “What are you, some kind of rock specialist?” the man’s reply? “Yes”.

44. Guess Who Wrote This?

This woman was at work with a coworker who she normally got along with. He had been in the middle of explaining the “manual” to her. So, she told him that’s not how it reads and went on to tell him how he was mistaken. That’s when he got defensive, saying “Oh yeah? What makes you the expert?” Her response was the icing on the cake. She said: “I wrote it”. That was more than enough to quiet him.

43. 20 Years Of Experience

These stories are only getting worse and worse. This person worked in kitchens for over 20 years when this happened. A restaurant owner took one look at this guy. Since he had a lot of tattoos and a beard, decided he clearly knew nothing about cooking. As you’d expect, that job became nightmarish for this person. The owner had never worked in a restaurant or kitchen yet thought he knew everything from watching the Food Network. As this worker said: “His restaurant lost over a million dollars because of his idiot mismanagement.” Everyone working in that kitchen had more years of accumulated experience than he had been alive. And yet, he did nothing about all the suggestions they gave him.

42. Pour It Right Into Your Brain

You’d think that medical professionals knew what they were talking about, but that isn’t always the case. This person was speaking to a nurse when something he said was very strange. “Had a nurse explain that I needed to drink more water so more oxygen would get to my brain.” After looking at the nurse with a confused expression, the nurse explained that “H2O dissolved into oxygen and hydrogen, and the oxygen travels to the brain.” Turns out that the person getting this talking-to is a chemist. He called the clinic director right after this happened.

41. Boiled Mash

When you’re usually the one making dinner for years on end in a relationship, you wouldn’t expect your spouse to be annoying about it. This person experienced just that: “After five years of being the one usually in charge of making dinner, my husband told me that if I added butter and a bit of milk to the boiled potatoes, I could make mashed potatoes.” Where did he think the mashed potatoes he’d been eating for years came from? At the time, the couple was newly married, flat broke and had to mash potatoes by hand. Turns out this person had no upper body strength. Since that point, they learned to ask the husband to do the mashing part – problem solved!

40. #1 On Google

It’s always entertaining watching someone who knows next to nothing about a topic rave on about it as if they’re pros. This person had an experience just like that. “My little brother’s friend, who has worked in marketing for 6 months, tried to explain how he “cracked” Google’s SEO algorithm and could get anything to the front page of Google in a week.” However, “I’ve worked knee-deep in SEO for almost a decade and I still have little to no idea what drives the algorithm other than speculation and trial and error.” Yikes. This person decided to simply smile and nod while the other guys kept saying how image file names play a huge role in page ranking.

39. F5

No job is easy, we all know that. This person had to deal with a cashier who thought he was smarter than him. When this person instructed him to hit F5 to get back from the credit card screen he went off, saying how he’d been using the software for years and that wasn’t how it worked. However, he then mumbled something about computers and how that log his key presses to the server upstairs and then the cloud – or something like that. Finally, this person interrupted him and said: “Dude: I helped write this software. Nothing you said is right”. That’s when the cashier stormed off, leaving this person there to wait for the manager who showed up and pressed F5.

38. But I Googled It

Being a doctor is not easy by any means. Going through med school, residency, and all that takes years of hard work and perseverance. All the same, there are people who are sure they know better than professionals just by doing a quick search online. In fact, it turns out that people tend to “explain” medical things to doctors rather often. Unless they’re being mean about it, the person in this example likes to gently let people know he’s a doctor. That’s when he will “re-explain what they said back to them in the right way.”

37. Good Luck

It’s must be an odd experience for a doctor to have a patient try and explain medicine to them. As we’ve mentioned, it’s not a very smart move, but people do it anyway. This doctor had a rather ironic story: “I was literally responding to a code for a patient who was explaining to me that the key to not getting cancer was her list of natural herbs and remedies. She was in the hospital for cancer.”

36. Friendly Conversation

Speaking to strangers at the airport bar can be very interesting at times. This person decided to get a drink next to some guys. They were talking about a recent strike in Syria. One guy there said the Tomahawks were launched off the aircraft carrier. This person spoke up – in a friendly manner – saying that it was from a carrier strike group and not from the carrier itself. “He said no they launch Tomahawks from the aircraft carrier.” Again, this person corrected the guy, saying they launch tomcats from the aircraft off carriers. However, Tomahawk missiles only launch from destroyers cruisers, and subs. That’s when the guy began a 5-minute explanation of how he knew someone who was in the Navy so he knew what he was talking about. This person saw that the conversation wasn’t going anywhere, so he explained that he was a Tomahawk Fire Controlman in the Navy and helped Launch Area coordinate in the Red Sea during the gas attack crisis.

35. Skater Punk

This guy got picked up by a taxi on his way to a skatepark with his skateboard. Rudely, the driver demanded to know where this person had been skateboarding. So, he informed the driver that he was on the way to the park. The driver then said that if the skater collided with a person his safe on the sidewalk, they had an 80% chance of dying from a brain hemorrhage. Politely, this guy informed him that he hadn’t skated on the sidewalk. The driver’s response was to ‘ask anyone in the medical profession’ and they’d confirm it. So, this guy calmly told the driver that he was actually an ER doctor. As soon as that was said, the driver’s manner completely changed to a respectful one. Go figure.

34. Good Thing You’re Here

At a university, there were a few lectures given by the head of cardiology at the hospital next door. He once talked about a time when he had been waiting to cross the street when a man next to him collapsed. He knelt down to attend to him when a large woman strode over and physically lifted him – he wasn’t a large man – out of her way. She then said in a loud voice:  “I’ll take charge, I have a first-aid certificate!”

33. Been There

Writing is no easy feat. In a writing workshop, one person encountered another member who had some advice. Since this person wrote a scene that described an aircraft as “creaking”, the member said: “You need to research what aircraft carriers are like before you attempt to write a book about one”. Little did they know that this person had sailed on the USS Eisenhower and knows exactly what they’re talking about.

32. Online Experts

The internet is a wonderful, strange place. It seems like everyone has an opinion on just about everything – even if they know nothing about the topic. Everyone’s an expert. A person online told this guy how insurance companies work and then accused him of spreading “fake news” about his profession. At the time, this guy was sitting at midwest HQ of one of the biggest insurance companies in the US. Not to mention, he had met with their underwriters just two hours earlier.

31. Flat Earthers

Ah, flat earthers… Such a special group of people. They’re so adamant in their belief that the world is flat. They truly will do almost anything to convince others of the same thing. One person said, “So you think it was easier to get to the moon than fake the footage?” They said this to a VFX artist who just so happened to know a lot about visual manipulation technology of the past and present. All he said was, “In my professional opinion, YES”!

30. New Speakers

He was helping a friend’s brother install new speakers in his car. As the amplifier was rated for 4 Ohms, the friend’s brother said “there was no possible way to use these two 8 Ohm speakers because it would blow up the amplifier!” Soon enough, the boy’s dad joined in arguing as well. Neither of them would listen to a word he said. That is, until he mentioned that he was 5 years into an electrical engineering degree, has designed and built a handful of amplifiers, and designed and built about a dozen guitar speaker cabinets. After that was said, the boy and his father changed their tone completely.

29. Brilliant Man

This person just so happened to work as a private investigator for bail bonds companies for almost ten years in Texas. It turns out that anyone who’s been arrested apparently knows more about bail or criminal justice than him. However, he has one favorite story that takes the cake. He was talking to a guy at a bar who told him he was a bounty hunter who’s caught “hundreds” of criminals. Firstly, bounty hunting is very much illegal in Texas. So, this person asked the guy if he knew “Jimmy from Al Bonds in Abilene”. The guy’s answer? “Oh yeah! Jimmy’s good people”. Obviously, Jimmy is not a real person, and neither is Al. Once the person said this, the guy tried proving him wrong by scrolling through Google while muttering under his breath. He then left abruptly.

28. Tell Me About Me

This programmer has to deal with some rather annoying people at times. Every once in a while, a call from tech support will be passed onto him when an issue arises. That’s when he’ll have to listen to a customer try and explain to them how their own program works. “I don’t care how many times you tell me that ‘It won’t sync to the cloud’ —  an application that doesn’t even connect to the internet has never and will never do that.”

27. The Master

As a young woman, life can come with a few extra obstacles than usual. This young woman just so happened to be playing Dungeons and Dragons as well as other similar roleplaying games since she was a kid. Meaning that she’s played these games for nearly 20 years. In fact, she’s played almost every week in some way or another for the last 10 years. All the same, almost every time she encounters a new group of people or speaks about her gaming interest in a public setting, some guy always has to try and explain to her how the game works. As a result, she’s become good at casually mentioning how long she’d been playing. While some will get the hint, others still keep on going!

26. Professor Plumber

Relationships sure are fascinating, wouldn’t you say? This woman ran into a minor bump in the road with her boyfriend when the rotten P-trap under her sink broke. Immediately, her boyfriend said, “Remind me to take a look at that”. Confused, she asked why, to which he replied, “So I can tell you what parts to buy”. After thanking him, she reminded him that she installed all the plumbing at her mother’s house. While he knew that, he must have conveniently forgotten.

25. “Who Do You Think You Are”

After a day of work, this guy was walking through a mall while getting some Christmas shopping done. He happened to come across a man who’d fallen and was having a seizure. He was bleeding from the back of his head as well. Another man grabbed him and tried jamming a pen into his mouth, most likely because of the old wives’ tale about needing to keep seizing people from biting their tongues off. This guy jumped in, pulling the pen guy’s hand away before clearing and opening the seizing man’s airway while being careful not to get his fingers near his mouth. Pen guy yelled, “Who do you think you are?! My cousin had seizures and this is what we always did!” Calmly, the man replied, “I know what I’m doing, sir. Please step back.” Clealry, the pen guy was angry – he started muttering to himself. Eventually, the cops arrived with a couple of medics in tow and the seizing man was breathing. Immediately, pen guy jumped to the cop to complain about this guy and “his behavior” but the cop ignored him. So, he turned to one of the medics and said, “I tried to get something in his mouth but this guy wouldn’t let me! He thinks he is special or something”. The medic replied “Well he should. He’s my supervisor”.

24. Bye Nurse

After being discharged from a weeklong hospital stay, this person was ready to go home. However, they were still having some nausea so they wanted to see if they could get a few more doses of their medication to take home. He asked the nurse if a doctor could prescribe it. In a sweet sickly voice, the nurse said: “Oh honey, Zofran only comes in IV form”. His reply? “Oh honey, I’m a pharmacist, and can assure you it also comes in tablets, liquid, and oral-disentegrating tabs.” The nurse then fumbled a little and muttered about getting the doctor before abruptly leaving the room.

23. Why Can’t People Admit They Don’t Know?

This person was working as a lifeguard when one day they saw an old woman drop a gopher tortoise in the water. They fished it out and yelled at her for dropping it in the water. This conversation happened next: “This is not a sea turtle!” I said. “These guys do not belong in the ocean!” “Yes, they do! They’re turtles and they live near water. That’s not a tortoise, that’s a sea turtle!” “You see his back feet? See how they’re stumpy and not fins? See how this guy has a small horn right here and a dome shell? Sea turtles have flat shells and flippers that don’t have claws. This guy obviously has claws. I’ve raised these kinds of tortoises for over 18 years and I can tell you that this is a gopher tortoise, which is a protected species here.” “No! That’s a turtle!” “Wrong. A turtle would have swam off and I wouldn’t have him in my hands. What you did to this tortoise constitutes multiples felonies. Drop another tortoise in the water and I’ll make sure you get arrested.”

22. I Know Money Stuff

While this person isn’t exactly an expert, they do have a degree in economics. All the time, their friends and family will rant about the economy without the slightest idea of what they’re actually saying and talking about. This person has had to correct them many, many times over. However, as time went by, this person simply started giving up on the cause since it was pointless and they weren’t listening anyway.

21. Bird Brain

A long time ago, this person worked as the cheese guy at Whole Foods. There, he was trained that no matter what, the customer is always right. One woman walked up to him. She was critical that they didn’t have the ostrich cheese prominently displayed. As you most likely know, ostriches are birds. Cheese comes from milk, and milk normally comes from – you guessed it – cows. According to this lady, he was an idiot and the scum of the earth who probably can’t read. Turns out that this guy just graduated from a top university and was only working at that job to make ends meet.

20. SEO

This guy works in digital marketing, mainly focusing on Search Engine Marketing (SEM) and Search Engine Optimization (SEO). By this point, he had been working in the field for 17-18 years. Of course, both of those terms are initialisms, meaning they’re pronounced ‘ESS-EE-EM’ and ‘ESS-EE-OH’. Makes sense, right? One guy asked him if he heard of ‘SEE-OH’. That’s how he pronounced SEO. Confused, this guy thought it was something unfamiliar since the other guy worked in IT. When he asked what it was, the other guy laughed at him and said, “I thought someone in marketing would have heard of Search Engine Optimization”. Since he was being so mean about it, this guy was more than happy to correct him in front of all his peers.

19. It’s All Just Numbers

Having an opinion about something doesn’t necessarily mean you’re knowledgable on the subject. Makes sense, right? Well, not everyone seems to agree. This person happens to have a master’s in biostatistics and did their research survey methodology for a national health survey. Someone else tried explaining to them that are surveys are nonsense and that they shouldn’t be used in scientific research. Essentially, that person didn’t understand what representative samples are. They were also convinced that people who take surveys always lie for no reason and never tell the truth. The professional let the other guy go on being wrong after a couple of comments back and forth. They were bored of arguing by that point.

18. Doubly Wrong

This person happened to overhear their Italian-American coworker explain to another coworker that Tiramisu is Japanese. He has a rather lengthy explanation, too. According to him, the Japanese invented it. That’s the reason it has the phonetic structure it does. In fact, he even pronounced it with a Japanese accent. However, he said the French perfected it, creating the modern version people are familiar with. The person who overheard the entire thing also happens to be Italian-American. Tiramisu is Italian for “pick me up”. This guy just didn’t have the heart to correct the coworker in front of the other coworker.

17. No, It’s Not

Aren’t overheard conversations just the best? They can be so entertaining if you come across a funny one. This one is hilarious – we’ll get straight to the point. Person A: “What’s that on your necklace?” Person B: “It’s a neuron.” A: “That’s not what a neuron looks like.” B: “Yes it is.” A: “No it’s not.” B: “I am a neurobiology major.” Yikes. We can feel the awkwardness just from reading this.

16. New Target

People can be so quick to judge sometimes, wouldn’t you say? Instead of waiting to hear the entire story, they immediately jump to conclusions – which tend to be incorrect. This story is a great example of that. This person was working part-time at Target when they had an uncomfortable encounter with a rude customer. The customer went ahead and cussed the employee out, saying how he was ignorant trash and wouldn’t amount to anything. His response? He simply looked at her and said, “I graduate with my Master’s in Aerospace Engineering next month”. The customer left real quick after he said that.

15. Be Careful What You Say

It’s not uncommon for people to make things up as they go in order to impress others around them. That’s just what happened to this car salesman, only he picked the wrong guy to talk to. This guy was an aircraft mechanic, USAF, and a student pilot at one point. He was looking at Jaguars in a showroom when a salesman approached him. The salesman began talking to him and his friend about the V12 engine in the 70’s Jaguar XL12. He was going on about it and the reason it was so fast. He said, “It’s got the same fuel injection system as an F4 fighter jet.” That’s when this guy decided to respond: “Really?! The same fuel injection as a General Electric J79 turbojet. Funny, since that burns JP4 which is basically a gasoline and kerosene mix. How does that work?” The salesman stopped mid-sentence and just walked out of the room. He didn’t come out the entire time they were there.

14. Black Belt

This person has been practicing Tae Kwon Do for 14 years and is a 4th-degree black belt. While he doesn’t know all there is about martial arts, he does know what he’s talking about, let’s say that. At his university, he decided to try out the tae kwon do club on campus. The first day he tried it, he had no idea if he was meant to wear his uniform, so he brought it along and wore workout clothes. Before the class began, one of the leaders – who wore a 2nd-degree black belt – came up to this guy and started explaining the protocol of class. He offered to stand next to him to show him how to do different steps. While this was going on, it seemed like the leader was annoyed he had to explain everything, and as if he didn’t want inexperienced students. This guy politely agreed and asked if uniforms should be worn. The teacher said whoever had a uniform should wear one. This guy said he did and that he would be right back and went to change. The teacher’s eyes almost popped out of his head when this guy walked out in his instructor’s uniform with his 4th-degree belt.

13. Pianist

This person was invited to dinner at someone’s home. They happened to have a grand piano there. Since guests kept trying – and failing – to play it, the host closed the lid and said “If you can play Chopin’s Military March, then you’re allowed to play.” And so, this person, who happened to be a piano teacher, sat at the bench of the piano. The host stopped him before he lifted the lid. He said, “Chopin’s Military March, opus 40, number 1, in A major, right?!” The host scoffed at him and said, “Let’s see you play it”. He played the whole piece with all the repeats and didn’t miss a single note.

12. Call A Doctor!

This guy is a doctor. She went to his compulsory basic training day to learn how to ride a motorcycle with a group of 6 others. It happened to be very hot that day, and none of them were used to being in full leather. Well, one person in the group overheated and went faint, so he took time out and went to sit down. She went to get him water and check in on him. However, the instructor freaked out, telling her to stay away. The instructor wanted to call for help, but the guy was alert, he just needed to cool down a little. Again, this person tried to see if the overheated guy was fine, but the instructor yelled at her to get back. He yelled at this doctor, panicking and saying someone had to call 911 since the guy was sweaty and faint. After multiple attempts, this person was finally able to tell the instructor she’s a doctor. After cooling down for 10 minutes and drinking some water, the guy was fine. The group continued their training – but not before the instructor asked the doctor how long she’d been a nurse and why she went into nursing. She was a female doctor.

11. A Ph.D. From Facebook

It seems like anti-vaccine mommies are an unstoppable force. This neuroscience Ph.D. candidate focused on neuroimmunology. No matter what, each and every single time anti-vaccine mothers approached him, they went on a rant trying to explain the (nonexistent) connection between vaccines and autism. Sadly, it didn’t matter how much science this person spelled out for these moms – it was never enough. They would just yell that this was person was clearly on big pharma’s payroll. So, this person just goes home and dreams of having big pharma money instead of lousy academia money.

10. Mic Drop

This person was in a computer store getting a part for a PC build. The customer next to him called a sales guy to ask about buying a sound card for their laptop. The sales guy looked at the woman as if she was crazy. He then went on about how they didn’t make such a product in the first place. So, this person grabbed a PCMCIA sound card off the shelf behind the sales guy before handing it to the customer silently and walking away.

9. Going On A Tangent

Every Friday, this Ph.D. math student would go to a happy hour at a bar with friends from his department to play some pool. One Friday, they were playing rather badly, but then again, they weren’t trying their hardest. They had probably been trying to sink the last three balls for four rounds by this point when a guy at the table next to theirs sauntered over. He proceeded to tell the four math grad students that pool is as “easy as identifying tangent lines. It’s all about the tangent lines”. After about two minutes of this guy explaining this to them, a friend chimed in, saying, “Yeah, we’re all working on Ph.D.’s in math – we know plenty about tangent lines. Let me give you a counterexample to explain why you’re wrong.” That’s when the guy’s eyes widened. After that, he didn’t say much.

8. Happy Birthday

At a bar with a friend, this person got to talking with a girl who was there on her 21st birthday. He and his friend congratulated her before buying her a round. Soon after, they got into a conversation about the original settlement in South America thousands of years ago. The girl then, incredibly arrogantly, said that there were people there and that he was white-washing history. Again, he explained that he’s not, and there were no human beings there until they migrated there. She insisted he was wrong, saying that invaders wiped out the indigenous populations. He disagreed, saying that happened thousands of years later. She accused him of mansplaining. This guy was at a loss, so he simply said, “Okay, well I’m sorry. She then yelled at his female friend, “How are you friends with him? God, what does he even do, like, sell socks?” He’s a geographer.

7. Evolution And Ecology

This woman was almost finished with her evolution/ecology degree and has done four internships in the field. Her friend, who’s an English education major, tried explaining to her why evolutionary theory was flawed. He did so in a very bad way, acting all condescending and cutting into her sentences often. Her boyfriend was in the room, so she texted him about the situation, talking about how dumb her English major friend sounded. Well, she accidentally sent it to the English major. He read it and angrily left the room. However, he never tried correcting her about her degree again.

6. Mansplaining

The other day, this woman’s boss yelled at her for using the table saw since he didn’t think she’d been trained to do it. She reminded him that she used to run a carpentry shop. In fact, she taught high-schoolers how not to lose fingers. Not to mention, she still had one in her garage. She’d like to believe he thought this due to the fact that she’s a painter rather than the fact that she’s a woman, but it doesn’t seem likely…

5. That’s Not How It Works

This woman was pregnant when she was drinking a decaf iced latte. At the pharmacy, she was in line when a woman told her that the caffeine was going to rearrange the genes in the baby’s brain. The pregnant woman just so happened to be a geneticist. She couldn’t even think of a proper response to that. She just stood there somewhat dumbfounded by the absurdity of the woman’s claim. That’s definitely how things work.

4. Coolest IT Guy

This guy was at an ex’s party where most people had a boring IT job – including him. The people at those parties had an odd tendency: they would try and showcase how cool their lives were. One guy (long hair, beard, tattoo) decided to argue with this guy and tell him how his taste in music was bad and that he should start listening to some of the non-mainstream stuff. So, this guy asked him to name some artists he liked. When he did, this guy told him to look up a band he mentioned and who was their guitar player. That’s when that guy realized it was the man he was talking to.

3. Mansplaining Women

It’s most likely that every woman has a story just like this one. Some random man tried explaining to this woman how the female reproductive system works. He accused women of being lazy and simply “not holding our blood”. This woman had no response to that. It was too much for her to even try and explain to him how wrong and misinformed he was. The saddest part is that most men know next to nothing on the topic.

2. Served

This woman has played tennis for over 20 years and took it seriously for about seven or eight. If she wanted to embarrass an amateur on the court, she could. She was having lunch with a guy she was slightly interested in – for a short time. At some point, the topic of tennis came up in their conversation and she mentioned she had been playing for a long time. He must not have been listening since he tried to explain a few simple concepts to her as if she knew nothing about the game. Once he did that, she suggested they go play at some point. He agreed. When they went to play, she was a little rusty at first, given the fact that it was a while since she’d played last. He said, “Don’t worry, you’ll improve.” It wasn’t long before she was in full form and he realized he seriously underestimated her abilities. It was clear he was angry, but he didn’t say anything about it.

1. That’s A Job?

This person was hired as an Excel consultant. The person who hired him at one point “taught him” how to do something in Excel. He just sat there in disbelief, waiting for her to finish her lengthy explanation. Oddly enough, he was able to understand it all immediately without any questions or repetitions. It’s magic! Or maybe, that’s the reason he was hired in the first place? Just a thought.