A lot of the time when it comes to love, many of us don’t always use logic and common sense. This is why the saying “young & dumb” is so popular. It’s as if when we’re in love we cant thinking properly, which could possibly be the reason breakups tend to happen more than they should. Too many people break up and end relationships for all sorts of silly reasons. Maybe it’s because of disloyalty, loss, or even a huge scandal. However, there are also loads of other ridiculous reasons, some of which you may not even believe to be true. Breakups do cause a lot of pain and heartaches but as time passes by, they’re the most hilarious stories to ever exist. Take a look at some of the most absurd breakup stories…
26. The Tables Have Turned
This guy has quite the funny story, he said, “I did too much stuff around the house, like dishes and cooking”. When she ended things she said, “I want a man who does manly things, not a woman who cooks and cleans.” He continued to say, “I know, right? How dare I cook healthy stuff for her kids a few nights a week, because otherwise, she’d pump them full of McDonald’s”. Ironically, just a few weeks later she called him when her car broke down and needed him to fix it. His response, “Sorry, love, I’m just too busy baking cakes and painting my nails over here.”
25. Hair We Are!
This brave woman had just got a great new haircut above her shoulders – she was getting so many compliments because of how fantastic it looked. However, she had no told her partner what her plan was. That evening when they were in bed, her boyfriend turned to her and said, “Do you love me?” She said, “Of course, why?” His response to her was quick but like a dagger to the heart… “Ever since you cut your hair, I don’t think I love you.” WOW! If that’s no dramatic, we’re not sure what is? We hope she ran out of there super fast.
24. Quenching Your Thirst
This dude’s story is a real classic. “My high school girlfriend ended things with me because I made an “ahh” sound after taking a sip of a drink”. Seriously? Are you for real? He continued to say, “I didn’t do it on purpose, I guess it was just a sound I made subconsciously because the sip really quenched my thirst. However, a few weeks later, I took a sip and ahh’d, and she yelled that she couldn’t handle it anymore”. As much as he was trying to enjoy his soda, she was not having any of it and was not happy with his behavior.
23. It Ended Before It Started
The next couple actually met on a dating app, spoke a lot, and seemed to have quite a lot in common. Their first date was dinner, in the beginning, it was ok and slightly awkward. A lot of the things he spoke about were red flags and showed he was a bad flirt. The woman wasn’t sure if she wanted another date especially after he tried to kiss her. After that it naturally just fizzled out until 10 months later she received this message from him, “I see you’re no longer lying about your age; anything else you want to come clean about? “Your profile says you’re 30 now.” Her response was straightforward, “Yeah, because time passed, and now I’m 30. Before that, it said 29. That’s how ages work, no”?
22. Short But Not Down To Earth
This isn’t quite the breakup story, but more about a guy who was chasing a girl in high school. She was quite short but he still really liked her. He wanted to ask her to the homecoming dance, thinking, “Hey, she’s cool, it doesn’t matter that she’s so much shorter than me.” A few days later, she threw him a letter that she, “You’re a jerk and we’re not going to the dance together”. The young lad was shocked, especially as she didn’t want to answer any questions but she thought he was mocking her about her height. But no – he truly just liked her a lot!
21. Profile Picture Feud
Here we have another couple who met on an online dating site. After casually speaking for some time, they finally exchanged numbers. During the first few weeks of talking on the app, the guy uploaded a pic that his friend had taken of him. Once they started dating, he didn’t log on again (which is also displayed on each person’s profile). However, after about 3 months, she texted him accusing of not deleting his account. As much as he tried to convince her he had no been on since they started dating, she didn’t care and didn’t want to see him again.
20. Only Time Will Tell
This poor guy started seeing a girl in school- much like young love. Anyhow, after a few short months, he kissed her. And out of the blue, she ended things with him via text. Her reasoning, she thought that the relationship was moving way too fast. He accepted and moved on. 2 years later, they started dating again. However, whenever they would hang out with her friends they would get so excited they were back together. Eventually, she she breaks up with him (Via text -AGAIN!). But can you guess what the reasoning is now…the relationship is moving too slow! Are you just as confused as we are?
19. Scene Out Of A Sitcom
Wait until you read this next story. This couple was watching Community together, it was the part when Troy and Britta ended things. She straight away saw something was weird with how he was behaving. He became so cold and withdrew from her for several months. She obviously asked if something had happened and why he was acting so different – but he just brushed the question off. In the end, they both decided it was probably to split up, especially since their communication was already broken and things were so bizarre. Of course, the young girl was still perplexed about everything but she was convinced there was something from that episode that made it flip so quickly.
18. Sad Excuse
This guy had ended his relationship with his girlfriend during the holidays while they were still in high school. She was quite overbearing when it came to texting and hanging out. But his life was basically taken over by Fallout New Vegas which he had just purchased. Naturally, being a woman she would be hurt because he wasn’t texting her back. But this was only because he just wanted to play Fallout. After much consideration, the only thing he could come up with was to break up with her so he could play his game. In hindsight, this was obviously not the most intelligent option as she was not only a good girlfriend but really smart and attractive. He of course never told her the real reason but did eventually apologize a few years later.
17. Little To No Effort
So this lad didn’t want to drive 45 minutes from his apartment to his girlfriend’s place just to watch a new episode of Game of Thrones. He had never seen a single episode, so to begin watching season 5 that was nearing the end, he would obviously have no idea what was going on. This is why he rather suggested that they stay at his apartment to watch a movie. His plan was quite cunning because he knew that no matter what they did nothing would get watched because she easily gets too distracted with all the hanky-panky.
16. Completely Baffled
So , this dude’s ex-girlfriend lied to his girlfriend at the time about the fact he was cheating on her. He of course was unaware that this was all going down. The night before Valentine’s Day, his then-girlfriend bursts into his apartment and starts yelling and pushing him around. She kept screaming, “I can’t believe you… it’s over”. Obviously, he was extremely confused. It was definitely the worst Valentine’s Day of his entire life. And the sad part was he had already bought her a huge teddy bear and a box of chocolates. While this was all going down, his previous ex-girlfriend tried her luck again while he was so vulnerable. Years later, he was actually relieved he never landed up with either crazy girl…
15. Emotional Baggage
This young man had planned to go on a school trip to Nepal, for 3 weeks. And his girlfriend at the time was also traveling for 3 weeks with her family to Italy. However, his girlfriend (of only 2 months) invites him to join their really expensive trip to Italy. But, she only invited him 2 weeks before he was scheduled to leave on his school trip. Needless to say, he needed to decline as he had already planned on going to Nepal and it was already fully paid for. When his girlfriend heard this, she went crazy and broke up with him on the spot, simply because he wouldn’t cancel his own trip.
14. The Write Wording
This next lad is fortunate enough to have an excellent job. It basically takes him approximately 40 hours of work per month to pay his bills and as well as meet all his entertainment wants. While his girlfriend on the other hand was a homebound gamer with a technology addiction. With her working 40 hours, a week didn’t really cover all her needs and wants. Although they didn’t live together, they didn’t really have intentions of moving in together. She would often remark on the simplicity of his lifestyle and how it stressed her out -she would if he had more of a full-time job…it would make her feel better about her career. He was however adamant it wasn’t going to happen and was happy with his successes. She got annoyed by his selfishness and immediately broke up with – Woah!
13. Not Stickin’ Around
This girl had a 34-year old boyfriend and always said things like, “You never leave me alone! My ex left me alone all the time!” in the most childish voice. But he was the one that persisted for her to have her own key to his apartment and made a point of saying he would like to come home from work and see her in his place. And then got annoyed that she wasn’t with him enough! He would always do weird things to have her with him before he went to sleep, which was eventually really annoying! And apparently she was always the “clingy one” – so weird right!
This girlfriend had apparently been paying for all the couple’s meals when they would eat out. Their bill would usually come to $100 to $500, depending on where they went or what they ate. It was silly on her behalf but it took her some time to note that he really never offered to pay for anything. He joked and said, “I have a high-paying job that I work really hard at, while you simply inherited your money”. So for some strange reason, she felt compelled to pay for everything. Eventually, she told him straight it was not okay and it would be nice if could at least split it with her. Of course, he was not happy and blew a fuse before breaking up with her. Turms out, his yearly salary was about $100,000.
11. Full-On Stalker
Talk about paying bills – this guy suggested he and his girlfriend get a hotel room when she had to go back home for her brother’s funeral. It was after all his idea. She obviously paid him back and he seemed grateful for it. However, after some time, he commented on how she had gained some weight after the death of her brother and that she wasn’t the same person he first dated. Truth was, she gained less than 10 pounds. This leads him to ask her to move out and that they should also break up. Obviously the young girl moved on and met someone else who was truly amazing to her. And being so young, she didn’t know exactly she deserved. Her ex-boyfriend was then determined to get her back and became a full-on stalker. The poor girl had to pack up everything and move back to her parents.
10. Take Note
He was 29 years old at the time and she was 21. Why did they break up? Well, she didn’t like his taste of music. He really enjoyed rock music – Queens of the Stone Age, Black Rebel Motorcycle Cub, Led Zeppelin. While she, on the other hand, likes dance/ house music. Being the man he was, he didn’t mind too much and wouldn’t complain about it, especially since she was his girlfriend. She eventually she said thought they were just too different to be together and their music choices proved that it wasn’t going to work out between them, Regardless, of spending 4 very happy months together.
9. Polar Opposites
Sticking to the same storyline- opposites. This lad’s ex-girlfriend was in a long-distance relationship and it had always been that way. He was in college while the relationship started but only lasted a few weeks. They enjoyed spending many hours chatting on the phone while they did their homework, watched hockey or played games. It would always end with something like, “Oh you want kids? I don’t think this is gonna work out.” Then we said, “I love you,” and hung up. However, the last phone call they had ended something like this, “You like dogs better than cats? This isn’t working out,” with a lack of, “I love you.” A few minutes later, his pal calls him up asking why his Facebook status is now single. He immediately called his ex and asked, “Wait, did you break up with me on our last call?” With no hesitation, she said yes!
8. Got The Wrong ‘D’
This sad story is about a guy who truly loved this girl. There was an instant spark between them and seemed so compatible. People would also say how amazing their chemistry was. It was honestly the first girl he loved. They spoke openly about their feels so they would know how one felt. Now, besides their relationship, he was still trying to get his mechanical engineering degree- despite having a math disability. After getting his math test result, he immediately texted her the news. She then calls him-crying saying that she can’t be with him anymore. But…the night prior to that she said he would stick by home no matter what. But it was all a lie! It turns out she then wanted to get back with him because she needed him. What.Is.Going.On?
7. Think We Should Break-Up
Now that we’ve reached the top 10, wait until you read this next one… This guy was dating a girl from about a year-and-a-half but she often used the phrase, “I think we should break up”. This happened nearly every time that disagreed on something. During their first week of class, one of his friends asks him to pick up one of her papers when he passed the bookstore before class. He then says, “don’t worry, we can share for the moment”. Fast forward to the beginning of class, he gives his girlfriend her paper and his friend some of his own. His girlfriend was not happy at all, she obviously said the obvious, “I think we should break up.” Except this time the dude said OK -and they never spoke again!
6. Girls’ Are Crazy
Funny story – this young lad dated a girl who had a cat. One of the girl’s weird traits was that she would just hang up on people all the time. Her deal was that she simply just got annoyed and hung up but then waited for them to call back. So, one day he told his girlfriend about an automatic cat litter box that he saw on TV. Oddly, she goes crazy and yells that he never listens to anything she tells him She then says, “Whatever”, and hangs up on him. He never called her back and nearly did she. It was all over- they broke up because of a litter box.
5. Plot Twist
If you thought that was bad, wait for this one. His girlfriend was more frustrated that he broke up with her than the fact that they weren’t a couple anymore. They only dated for 1 year during the 9th grade and while things weren’t amazing, he was convinced she was “the one”. So, the night before they end things, she reveals that her and the new guy in school kissed! Along with that the breakup conversation went on for approximately two hours until she finally persuades him to try again instead of breaking up. He agree…but the very next morning in the hallway she dumps him.
4. No Clear Instructions
This poor chap’s girlfriend was finishing up her first semester in college before having a 3-week winter break. However, she asked him to give her a week to herself as she always felt super stressed just after finals. It was like she was completely missing, no texts or calls. And when he texted her, she would only occasionally message back. He naturally thought something was wrong or that he had done something to her, but what was even weirder is that the two hardly spoke in the 3 weeks after that. Anyway, she went back to school and he then asked what happened during that time. She went absolutely nuts! She said that there was never a consistent 7 days in a row that he never contacted him – this is something she never said or clarified before. She proceeded to say”, You ruined everything and how do you suppose you’re going to fix it?” She was furious and just walked out without saying another word – ever!
3. Lifesaver Or Girlfriend?
This young couple had just finished a date on the beach, watching the sunset and eating pizza together, until the unthinkable happened. She, out of nowhere just broke up with him. What was her reasoning thought? Apparently, he was too nice to her and no one had ever planned things like this before. It came out that in her previous relationship -she dated an alcoholic who had lost his job. She then spent a lot of her time trying to get him sober and make him a better man. None of that work so they broke up. She then said, “I prefer dating men that she can support, help and make them better people”. He however took it as though, she likes to date losers that she wants to change to men. Moral of the story – him treating her well, planning fun dates, and having a solid career wasn’t what she found attractive. It was more of the unemployed alcoholics that tickled her fancy.
2. Jealousy Personified
This young lass had a boyfriend that ended their relationship simply because she wasn’t jealous of his previous high-school girlfriends. Weird, right? She really thought they were adults – but apparently not! What happened was that his ex-girlfriend added him on Facebook and then messaged him the next day before they began chatting a bit. Either way, it wasn’t a big deal at all. He then gave his ex his number and continued speaking to her. But still, his current girlfriend really didn’t care that much. Except, he only wanted to rub it in her face and make her jealous, but sadly for him, she wasn’t jealous at all. All she said was, “enjoy and tell me how it goes”. He then exploded and said that clearly something was wrong with her because she had been acting normal this whole time.
1. Just A Tip
Here’s the number one story. So, this dude was dating this girl for roughly a month or two. The majority of the time, things were going really well and smoothly. Every time they went out for a meal, he would always pay – she never paid a single cent, ever! Anyway, one weekend they went out for a lovely Sunday breakfast, and the total bill came to approximately $20. He had enough to just cover the bill but didn’t have any small change for the tip, which is why he asked her to give. She did. Once they arrived back home, she was so distant and not talkative at all- she was in a real foul mood. After finally addressing the white elephant in the room, she simply responded, “When we went for breakfast, you didn’t pay the whole bill, that’s kind of a turn-off for me.” So just because she had to pay a $4 tip at their breakfast, she ended things right away.